CampFire Stories _ part 1

Helpless

I was already on my way to work in Roseville when I heard about a small grass fire near Concow on the radio news. It started out at about 10 acres but grew to about 100 acres by the time I got to work, around 7:30 AM. Then my son called me at work around 8:30 or so and asked if I had heard about the fire. I told him I heard there was a small grass fire burning near Concow. “It’s not small and it’s not just Concow anymore!” He said he couldn’t reach my wife but he was in Paradise so instead of heading down to Chico right away he would stop by the house and help. He lives in Magalia and Skyway was outbound only by this time. I reached my wife just as she was back from walking the dogs. She said it looked bad and she was gathering things and having her dad pack a bag and then they were leaving. I decided by 9:00 that I should head home. I called her from the car as I was leaving and talked to her the whole way up. She was calm, but obviously nervous. I could hear her tell her dad that they don’t have time to go to breakfast first, that Kalico was probably already on fire! Our son arrived at the house and began the task of helping round up dogs and other items, including some special items from the safe. Traffic came to a dead stop at 149 and 99 heading towards Chico. I could see the black smoke rising from the ridge. I was panicking because my wife and son and father-in-law were trying to get out and I was stuck on the highway, helpless. I stayed on the phone with her the whole time. The power went off at the house about 10 minutes before they left. It took her over two hours on Neal from Skyway to get to Hwy 99, normally a 10-15 minute drive. We finally met up at the Armory in Chico where we planned on spending the night in our tent trailer. We left there around 11:30 PM when they started to evacuate southeast Chico. Then four weeks in hotels until we finally landed in a house in Roseville.

The fire took most everything we owned, but more sadly it took our daily lives with our friends and neighbors. It took our town. We never received alerts from the county, no evacuation order, nothing. We received robocalls from PG&E (Pacific Gas & Extortionists) for two days before the fire saying they may be cutting power due to high fire danger. We all know how that worked out. I’m still sad. I’m still heartbroken. I even still tear up from time to time. But mostly I’m angry that this didn’t have to happen... it was preventable. But we are moving on with life, away from the ridge for now. And we’ll see what the future holds for what was once Paradise.

~Anonymous

March 7, 2019

Home

Mechanical. That is the way I can explain life post Camp Fire. Since November 8, 2018 I have been going about the business of life. Commuting to work and back. Doing my job as always both at home and at work. Eating. Sleeping. Making decisions. Searching for the minuscule pieces to pick up, to move on. Executing the processes that come with recovery. Yes. Mechanical. Robot like.

I forgot how to feel. Sounds strange, but true. I continue to be strong for my husband, my family, and my friends. I remain a pillar, the epitome of strength, the inspiration for other survivors to draw from when their crumbled lives become too much for them to bear. But numb. Brushing aside the pain, the fear, the trauma, the exhaustion. Simply surviving each day.

But today the tears have come. My eyes leak salty drops that slide down my cheeks. Grief has taken hold. I mourn my little cabin in the woods and the life I had built there. Memories of what now seems eons ago. My California dream turned to ash. The realization that everything is temporary. Our lives are. Temporary.

I remember what it felt like to fall in love with my home. It was nestled in a grove of giant incense cedars and Douglas firs. I loved those trees that dwarfed my house. They were mighty and stood watch over me. I loved to sit in the yard taking in their breathtaking beauty. The air filled with their sweet aroma. Freshly sharpened pencils. Immersed in that rich scent.

My home was cozy. It was filled with countless treasures. A sign hung above one door. “Love Grows Best in Little Houses.” The cross-stitched 57 Chevy I had made for my husband. A lifetime of photographs. Trinkets from so many, tokens of love. A steampunk lamp. Dickens’ Faire costumes. My mother’s cedar chest. Stained glass windows created by my brother. Generations of jewelry – pearls, diamonds, gemstones, gold. Collections – race medals, shot glasses, Christmas ornaments, hearts. My wedding dress. My daughter’s childhood belongings. My husband’s tools. The scale on which my mother weighed me when I was a baby. The mug my father used for coffee, the circular rings at the bottom of the cup from the stir of a spoon. My books. Oh, my books.

On the front of the house was an eight-foot-high Perry’s ice cream cone sign from a sweet shop in Warsaw, New York. It was there, while enjoying a hot fudge sundae, I was presented my engagement ring. Porch rockers that frequently played a part in a personal “Margaritaville.” Musical wind chimes. My secret garden. A windmill spinning in the breeze. The cherry trees I started from pits. The doggy playground I created for my pup. My copper rain chain that looked like a waterfall during storms. The boulders at the end of the driveway.

My walk-in pantry, the envy of my younger sister. Family cookbooks and recipes. My husband’s “command center” in the office. My college diploma. Bazooka bass speakers I destroyed when I turned up the volume of “Devastation Sounds” reggae. The old milk boxes originally used for milk delivery at my childhood home. My guitars. A wooden sign simply stating “The Stearns Home – Established 1992.” Ocean décor – “Hakuna Matata.” A pencil rubbing of my grandparent’s names from Ellis Island. Kukui nut leis. Bongo drums.

My home is gone. Everything but the memories. I couldn’t imagine ever leaving it. It was perfect. A joy-filled place. Warm. Comfortable. Lovely.

Today I allow myself to grieve. A step back from the business of life. A day of reflection. A day where I let the loss flow around me and through me. The reality of a shattered dream. And the reality that life goes on despite it. I will let the tears flow until they run dry. And I will then begin again.

DS

March 10, 201

Camp Fire Survivor - a poem

Camp Fire Survivor

Last summer I made plans to retire,

To enjoy the beauty of my home in Magalia.

Without warning it came, that ravenous fire.

Within three months, unknowing of it’s path and desire,

I left my home with my pets,

On an escape route that took me higher.

Local radio news said Paradise was burning,

When all communication ceased and traffic halted,

My fears became real as it was safety I was yearning.

I made it to Chico, later that day, to a dark smoky sky

With flames of red consuming the ridge.

It wasn’t over yet, that terrible day, so afraid I might die.

My home now gone. Incinerated beyond belief,

Has set me on a new path, to a new place,

to a new beginning much to my relief.

Through it all, my family, friends and strangers,

With love and support are helping me through this tragedy.

My pets, all in a better place, at least made it out of danger.

In a small Georgia town called Dallas, I now reside.

With rolling hills, beautiful trees and a chorus of birds.

My retirement mission now is to ‘enjoy the ride’.

I look to the future, a clear slate, a thin wire,

so much unknown, so much to learn.

Without warning it came, that ravenous fire.

Debbie Harken-Moore

March 28, 2019

 Trailerville in the Woods

After a series of changes I bought a little trailer and my friends graciously let me live there for 9 years. Living close to Lime Saddle Marina was great because I worked there off and on. I had moved to Paradise in 1975 so I was in Love with the area. 

November 8, 2018 I woke up early missing my dog who died 4 months before the fire. I took a photo of the cloud which was the smoke flume in Pulga. Then I heard the sirens going up Highway 70. I continued to get ready to go pet sit down by Butte Valley. Driving by the CHP in the road I said I have my I.D. I only live by the bridge. He yelled” you won’t be allowed back in”! I zoomed down the road feeling a panic attack but arrived at the corner store on Clark and Pentz Durham. I ran in and told them this is big! 

8am. I’m helping my pet owner person pack up the cats and get ready in CASE! When the propane tanks were heard exploding up Clark Road past the airport and the sky had black purple clouds we left. I drove a truck and left my car. I didn’t know until we drove 99 from Oroville to Chico that Paradise was all burning up. 

Two weeks later I heard about my area from the landowner/best friend. Just a little trailer clean, comfy and organized. I had all the photographs in a huge suitcase. I was ready to always evacuate since 2008 and the other fires. I really had no idea the fire would reach us. Feeling for all.

Nila

March 28, 2019

Is this a nightmare?

I was woken up at 8:30 the morning of November 8th and told to get up because we might be evacuated.

I been through the evacuations 5 times before and always returned back home so I did not think much about it but got up anyway and took my shower real quick.

After taking my shower and get a reverse phone call saying to evacuate immediately so I went out to the front driveway and I see all the red burning embers falling everywhere and the black smoke with the red glow and hearing all the explosions all around me from the exploding propane tanks and then there was this one huge explosions that shook our house and the windows I thought were going to break.

I ran into the house and told my mother, let’s go now and I grabbed my dog and I did not want her to drive her vehicle so I told her I would drive her and I left my car behind.

I drove down Pentz to Durham-Pentz road and that is when we started getting the backed up of cars.

We made it to highway 99 and had told other family members to meet at the Tackle box parking lot.

On our way up 99, which was really congested by now, I seen ambulances everywhere headed up to paradise and couple of Calfire vehicles.

We made it to Tackle box in Chico and waited for other family members but they had to go down to the red cross in Oroville so we headed toward Oroville down Midway. I could not believe how many cars were headed back towards chico.

We finally made it to the red cross and got signed in and to let them know we were safe.

The first night I slept in the back of my escape in the Gold Country parking lot. Then for the next 2 weeks we stayed at different hotels down on Roseville for 2 nights at each hotel, until I was finally able to get a room for a whole month.

At the last hotel, the Hilton, there were lots if people there from Paradise and Magalia and we all told our stories to each other. For the next month we all became our own little community family and I made some new friends.

I don't know how I would have handled it if it were not for all the people I met and was able to talk to about this tragedy.

This all seems to be like being in a 24/7 nightmare and wish I could wake up and our homes were still there and the whole town of paradise.

I am temporary in a home down in Rocklin and was not able to get any extra help from FEMA or Red Cross or any of the other places because of no way to get there. FEMA would not let me register because the address was already registered by the owner, but I am making it day by day.

I pray that we all can get our lives back together and I will stay Butte Strong!!

James

March 1, 2020

My Family

I do not have a unique survival story, just the love that my family has for Paradise and now trying to find and figure out a new chapter for our
growing family. A brief background of what was happening in our life at the time of the fire and our Paradise Roots.

Both my husband and I were born at Enloe Medical Center in Chico and were raised in Butte County. We are both in our mid-thirties. We can’t believe how hard it is to find a house right now, it’s just sad. We bought a house in lower Paradise on the Skyway-close to the Crossroads and Russel about 10 years ago. We loved Paradise for its elevation, mountain air and small town. Our son, our only child was only 6 weeks old at the time of the fire. I was still off work and my husband had his first day of child bonding time. Thought it was just another fire in the Garbo Gap.

My family roots go way back for Paradise. My grandma moved up there is the upper 1960’s and met my step grandpa-never got to meet my real grandpas-both died early from cancer. My grandma passed about 6 years ago, and then my grandpa moved out of state. Just glad they did not have to experience the fire! Just a brief run down. Hopefully I’m a candidate for someone to share their stories. 

Thank you.

Brittany

April 15, 2019

We have relocated to Cibolo, TX - Just outside San Antonio

After many months of planning we have relocated and began a new
chapter in our lives in Cibolo Texas.  

Our hearts will always be in 

Magalia Ca.

Jennifer Herndon

October 17, 2019

paradise lost

Life on the ridge for me started back in 1974 when my parents my sister and I moved up from Sacramento. Entering Paradise Elementary half way thru the 1st grade, I was very nervous since I knew no one here. As I grew up and gained friends, I fell in love with the community. When I was in the 7th grade a fire destroyed the wing of Paradise Intermediate School that my locker was in. That was my first experience with a fire. After High School I joined the Air Force then upon completion of my duties I returned to Butte County and remained here until that fateful day Nov. 8th 2018. I lived in lower Magalia for the past 8 years with my wife and kids. When we had to evacuate I was certain the fire would not reach Magalia. We were on pins and needles waiting to find out if our home had survived.

The day we found out I had a police escort to my property to try to get tools for my business but saw a pile of mangled metal and ash. We were devastated. Driving thru Paradise felt like we were in an apocalyptic nightmare. My heart felt like it had stopped when we saw our beloved little town. Eventually we got thru the disaster help and found a new start to our life in Oregon. I still have nightmares and find myself breaking down emotionally to this day. It has been difficult at times to move forward but our new neighbors have been very comforting to us and understand what we have been thru. I pray that our beloved ridge will rise from the ashes to shine again. I miss all my friends and customers very much, some I still keep in touch with. We all need a collective shoulder to cry on occasionally, it will help us all heal. I loved Paradise and Magalia.

Frank

March 1, 2020 

Surrounded By Those Who Truly Care

For me and my wife, we were surrounded by those who truly care. After escaping the fire from our Paradise home on Filbert Street we connected with friends that allowed us to stay in their place in Doe Mill subdivision. Doe Mill was evacuated sometime after sunset. When we left we were stopped at Bruce Road to allow two dozen fire engines through 20th street. We made our way through Durham-Dayton to find some obscure almond grove and stay in my sister’s fifth wheel overnight. They had escaped the fire as well. Friday morning dawned calm, cold, and smoggy. We readied ourselves to travel to Contra Costa and stay with our daughter and sons-in-law while we recuperated.

We are forever grateful that the kids were so attentive to our needs to supply clothing, food and shelter when we arrived. A go fund me account was already established and receiving donations. My brother-in-law brought us bags of clothing and shoes from the GAP where he manages. He also treated us to a lunch at a trendy local pub. The lead clerk at Hercules Walmart gave us two gift cards after we asked for a discount. A woman in the parking lot at the Ross store in Pleasant Hill gave us a twenty-dollar bill when she overheard us say we were from the CampFire. All this was very touching. There is so much goodness in people.

The long-distance support was also truly amazing. We talked to Aunts and Uncles and those friends and family we don’t usually make contact with. We are forever grateful for the support and understanding from these folks. Upon returning to Chico just before Thanksgiving our good friends opened the door to their vacant studio flat in Doe Mill and allowed us to stay until we could re-establish ourselves. I often think of them as two angels coming down from (heavenly) Butte Meadows to save us.

We are both back at work. I actually started with FEMA to help applicants into housing, and she with a human resource office. We have our own place now. Our house is gone, and I am learning to practice some resilience. Again, we are truly grateful for all who helped us with this situation.

Anonymous

October 17, 2019

The only way out of Paradise

The day that ruined me and my children’s lives. On the day of November 8th 2018 was the day that changed everything. That morning I woke up at 6 a.m. to get up and get ready for work. After getting ready for work I woke my kids up to get ready for school. As they’re waking up they told me they don’t feel good can we please stay home. So I decided to take the day off work and just relax with my kids. I actually work at their school so it wasn’t a big deal. Thank God I did take the day off because what was going to happen next was going to change our lives for good. I couldn’t imagine wondering where my kids were with all the chaos that happened. To all the people that sent their kids to school that day, I can only imagine how you felt not knowing where your child was while the whole town was burning down.

So anyways back to my story. It’s around 7 a.m. in the morning and my daughter says mom come look outside. So I go to the sliding glass doors of our apartment and see nothing but smoke at that moment the sky started to turn dark. I knew there was a fire in the town but I didn’t think it was that bad. Five minutes later my mom calls from her home in Magalia and says you guys need to get out now. I get off the phone with her and start packing a bag of clothes for me and my kids. I mainly grab them clothes. We didn’t grab anything else we didn’t think the town was going to burn down. Not even 10 minutes after that I started hearing propane tanks blowing up. That’s when I said kids we got to go now.

I got the kids in the car and started to pull out of shelter cove parking lot it took me 20 minutes just to pull out onto the road. There were cars everywhere, police officers, people walking down the road, and  firefighters.all you could hear was sirens and loud noise. Every 5 minutes felt like an hour, cars weren’t budging there was just too much traffic in the town. About 30 minutes went by and we only moved like 50 feet. At this point I’m trying to call everyone I know to see if they’re all right and if they’re making it out of here. My mom’s not answering the phone. So I have no idea what’s going on with her are my stepdad. My kids are crying at this point because the am/pm gas station is on fire and we can’t move at all. We don’t know if it’s going to blow up like in the movies. As we keep going very slowly there’s spot fires everywhere and not enough firefighters to even put them out. We finally hit Pearson road to go towards skyway because that’s the only way they let us go. We were in the wrong lane to head towards Oroville. Pearson road was not too bad it was still dark and smokey. But traffic was moving faster. It still took us an hour to get to skyway. We finally thought we were getting ready to head out of Paradise to Chico but we didn’t realize all the skyway was already in flames. All I could think at that moment is we’re going to die and they sent us right into the inferno. Buildings, trees and houses are in flames around us and my kids are bawling their eyes out saying “Mom are we going to make it?” I said I’m not sure you guys I love you so much, we might not make it. I told them at that moment let’s just pray to God. So me and my kids are in this smokey car we can’t see a foot in front of us. There’s just too much smoke all we could see is the flames around us. As we sit there and cry together and tell each other how much we love each other. I’m trying to be strong and make it out.

I got random cars stopping in front of me some people jumping out trying to run. At one point I have a car in front of me and I thought people were in it and we just weren’t moving. Until cars started going around it so I did too. There was no one in the car in the middle of the highway. I’m going as fast as I can go I’m trying not to get in an accident because there’s just too much going on. At that moment there we’re embers going across the street I thought for sure my tires were going to melt. You could feel the heat inside the car but there was nothing we could do but keep driving. We finally made it out of the flames and into Chico. As we got into Chico there were people everywhere. All these people including ourselves had no home and didn’t really know where to go at this point. The plan was before I left paradise was to meet at my brothers in Chico. It took forever to make it out of Paradise and now I had to wonder if my mom and my dad made it to. Sitting there crying thinking they didn’t make it and no one’s answering their phones. I finally got ahold of my mom and she said she was going back to the house because she couldn’t get down the skyway. Plus she said my stepdad was trying to get up to her. He was working in Paradise at the time. Come to find out they wouldn’t even let him go try to get to my mom. They stopped all traffic going up to Magalia.

Probably an hour after being in Chico my step dad finally made it out of there. And all we can think about is if my mom could get out or not. Me and my step dad and my brother were getting really scared mom’s not calling or answering her phone. It took 6 hours before I got a call from my mom saying she might run out of gas and she still on the back way out of Magalia. There is no gas stations around. So my step dad tries to get in there and they won’t let him in. We just keep telling my mom just keep driving until you run out of gas. My step dad’s waiting at this point on the outskirts of Chico, where she will be coming into Chico with a can of gas just hoping she makes it to him. Mom finally made it, thank the Lord. We all hug each other and just start crying together as a family. All we could think about is our homes making it. That night we all just sat by our cars and watch the flames in Paradise burn the town down. I will remember this day for the rest of my life it brings tears to my eyes just writing this today.

Now we all have to decide what to do. There’s so much smoke in Chico at this point I decide to go to my other brother’s house in Sacramento and wait out the fire. We all just hope and pray there’s something left for us to go home to. As I get to Sacramento there’s nothing but smoke down there too. There is no escaping the smoke. I had just the clothes on my back and a few clothes for my kids. Good thing the thrift stores in Sacramento gave up $30 in clothing a piece for me and my kids. I stayed at my brother’s for 2 weeks just watching the news and crying. It took forever before they finally opened up Paradise. But what was the point? There was nothing left, the town was gone, our homes were gone, our lives we’re gone. So now what do we all do. The school still paid me for a few months after the fire, even though I was not working. At least someone cared. And living in motels isn’t cheap. Every hotel in Chico was booked up for months. In one month I moved into 6 different hotels clear down to Roseville. In the past 6 months I have been into at least 15 different hotels with two kids. Until FEMA finally got me a travel trailer to stay in on the lake. But they had rules you had to fill out applications to rent a place and you had to have so many a month. What do they expect from us. We have nothing and no jobs and there’s nowhere to rent because the only rentals available are gone. So at this point I decided it’s time to move away.

So here I find myself in Washington with no family around. And life is still hard. But I’m working on it. I finally found a job, I got a travel trailer I made it work but yes we are still struggling and we might be for a while but will be okay. Me and my kids miss our lives but there’s nothing we can do about it. We miss our family, we miss our friends, we miss our home, and we miss our stuff. I still haven’t went to counseling like my mom said I should but I think I might need it. Because I find myself crying over the littlest things. We our strong, I just keep telling myself at least we’re alive.

Vanessa Deherrera

March 1, 2020

Not Everything in a Home is “Just Stuff”

~ Shelves packed with books lining the 

   walls (some that have been rifled 

   through by three generations of 

   grubby little kid hands).

~ Love letters carefully saved from

   great, great, great grandparents.

~ Yearbooks with notes written by 

   friends from decades ago.

~ Albums full of baby photos of 7+ kids.

   Crayon drawings, paintings, and 

   lumpy little ceramic projects that 

   made us cringe as adults.

~ Handmade masks and art and home

   wares from living in Japan, Costa 

   Rica, Mexico, and Micronesia.

~ My mother’s wedding dress framed 

   on her bedroom wall.

~ A garden lovingly tended to every 

   weekend by my dad when he 

   was home.

~ A tiny denim jacket fit for a 

   precocious little girl decorated with 

   pins and patches from her uncle.

~ A little boy’s AC/DC poster, AC/DC 

   t-shirt, and electric guitar, and 

   another boy’s new laptop with the 

   games he’d learned to code himself.

~ Pictures of my dad from when he 

   awkwardly modeled suits in Japan.

~ My grandfather’s letters to his mother 

   from the orphanage where he lived 

   during the depression.

~ Our baby teeth and hair clippings 

   from our first haircuts that my mother 

   kept in little envelopes and carried 

   with her overseas so many times.

~ Not everything in a home is “just 

   stuff,” and it will take a while to 

   process everything that was lost.

My family’s home in Paradise was confirmed to be destroyed. But
everyone is here, and we’re together, and we’re making new memories and gathering new mementos.

Anjie Cook

December 30, 2019

New Start

I was born in Paradise in 1964. My family had been on the ridge since the 1920s. So I guess you could say I was pretty invested in our town and county. Went to school and graduated in 1982 Paradise High. 

When the fire started I left immediately as I knew I would be gridlocked. I left via Skyway North to Sterling to say with parents until the next day as I was working with the Butte County Sherrifs Dept. I saw a lot after that working with everyone to secure the disaster. Saw a lot of good people and saw some not so good.

I’m just blessed that my family came out of it ok. Stuff is stuff and can be replaced, but lives cannot. After the main fire settled down, about one month, I bought property in New Plymouth Idaho. It reminds me what
Paradise was 30 or more years ago. I also relocated my parents from Sterling near here. I still have a cabin at Philbrook Lake, but as far as the rest, its all ghosts to me. Sometimes we need to cut our losses and move on.

I will never see Paradise as it once was, but have a whole lot of good memories. It's hard to give up a place you were born in, but have a new life here, and new adventures to be a 

part of.

David

March 1, 2020

My Story of the Camp Fire 11/08/2018

That Thursday morning, I had the day off from my work at Paradise Post-Acute (formally known as Paradise Skilled Nursing). I was working there as Housekeeping and Laundry. I had intended of sleeping in and planed on unpacking more of my stuff. I just had moved into my co-worker’s place and was renting their living room. I had previously lost my place of living and
ended up owing lots of money. It was such a perfect situation for myself. $200 a month for a place with utilities, with my job and my current bill at that time I was doing well and be able to pay what I owe, still be able to travel to all the places around in town that I needed to attend too without much of trouble. That had all changed within less than 30 minutes on that particular morning.

I woke up by my roommates (married couple with 2 kids) getting ready to leave for their school and work. About 6:30 am everyone had left. I got up and made some coffee and I always like to have a cigarette with my coffee out on the balcony. At that day I was rolling my cigarette. I’m sitting outside and I noticed the sky being really dark more than usual, also since it was a big apartment complex people outside were running around like never seen before. At that point I thought it was going to be a different day, but I didn’t think it was anything to worry about. My girlfriend Kim who lived like a couple blocks down from me (10-minute walk down the bike path) was texting me. She already had gone to work in Chico. The text was asking me if I have heard about the fire. I went and to my CalFire app on my phone and at that time it showed me a 10-acre fire way over at a place I have never even heard of Pulga. I text her back saying that all I know is about that fire way over there and I didn’t think we had anything to worry about. At that same time, I started to notice something dropping on the leaves of the trees surrounding. I thought it was finally raining. Kim texted me asking me if she should come back because she heard about how Paradise is getting evacuated. I text her back saying that we have nothing to worry about and its starting to rain as well. I went back inside to get on my desktop computer and started to play on a game I had been playing for a while to just get further into my game.

Cristopher my roommate just came back to the apartment from dropping his wife and kids off. I’m sitting on my computer just about getting my game loaded and he is turning on the oven to make some breakfast for himself. He asked me if I have heard about the fire. I asked in return why everyone is talking about this fire. I just had looked it up on the CalFire app and it’s just a small 10-acre fire way over by Concow. He was kind of mystified by that. About 7:30 am he got a text from his wife saying that she is getting evacuated where she is at on Pents Rd. He told me that and he’s leaving to pick her and the kids up. Left the oven on and grabbed his stuff as he had said the hopes to see me later. I was starting to stress than and I wanted to see for myself what’s going on. I got some more coffee and went back out on the balcony to smoke another cigarette and as I did that Kim was texting me that she is on her way back and asked me to check on her son Nathan who was at her apartment. He still was sleeping, and Kim was not able to get a hold of him.

The apartment complex I was staying at was right next to the Paradise High School. The loudspeakers there were loud and clearly saying: “Every student is to report to the cafeteria as soon as possible and other students of the surrounding schools are also to report to the cafeteria!” My thought was that the whole town is being evacuated and by that moment I looked around and noticed that my previous thought about the rain hitting leaves was false and was not rain. It was thick chunks of ash. I looked all over and saw that was all ash! I really was freaking out at that point. So many thoughts were going through my mind. I was worried about my own daughter who was in Magalia and was at her middle school at that point, Kim who was trying to get back to her son and about her son being home alone. I text Kim back saying to just get back here as soon as possible. The school next to me just confirmed the town is getting evacuated. She called me and told me she is trying to get back into town and I was able to tell that she is a very frantic state of mind. It was very difficult for her to get back up the hill to Paradise from Chico. Traffic everywhere was jammed and backed up. She asked me to get over to her apartment to get her son and if she could not make it up to just get the keys for her Ford Taurus than drive with her son to safety out of town.

I went and grabbed my backpack that had just very important paperwork and some other little things in it. Put on my shoes and I thought about grabbing my immigration paperwork I had locked up in my safe and some clothes, but I didn’t because it didn’t seem like there was enough time. Took my cellphone, keys and wallet. Went to turn off my computer and I turned off the oven that my roommate had left on, thinking that be the one thing I should do and went out the door even locked it up. I ran across the yard to get to bike path. I was running towards Kim’s apartment and got to Elliot Rd. as I was trying to get across, I had to stop. Traffic was blocking me and thankfully as the cars were stopping a utility truck of some sort had stopped for me at the cross walk and let me cross but still had to look out for the cars on the other lane to clear to cross. Finally got to Kim’s apartment after running through this gloomy air with ashes pilling up on my backpack and on my hat, I was wearing. I got to her stairway and I saw her son standing on the porch being on the phone. I think he was talking to his dad or his brother, crying and saying he wanted to his mommy and being very frantic himself. He has autism so it’s very intense for him at this point. I went up to him and told him that everything will be ok, and his mother is on her way, should be here any moment now. I was able to get him to calm down and get him to get whatever he needed packed up and ready to go.

It’s very dark and seemingly an apocalypse like setting at that moment. The neighbors are yelling and being frantic to get their cars packed up. They are too having a bad time and their cat got out, so they were trying to get their cat back, witch at that moment I was on the phone with Kim, she told me that she is trying to get the apartment but police are blocking Pearson Rd. and making everyone turn around. She put the phone down and just turned down Pearson Rd. I went to make sure her son was ready, and I texted my boss to see what was going on and he told me I need to come there because they needed help to get all the residents moved out. I told him I can’t because I have to worry about my own family and help them to get out. I also called some other places saying I am not able to come in today due to the fact that the entire town of Paradise is getting evacuated. At that point Kim was able to get to her apartment. She quickly went up and ensured that her son and I were ready to go. We were all in her bedroom as Kim was trying to grab her bag with some important things for her and her son. She had asked me if she should grab some clothes. I had said that she probably should grab whatever she can, her reply was to just go, that everything will still be here tomorrow. I said yea this is all just precautionary evacuations. They will make sure the town won’t get burned down. We all left and got in her car and I had asked her before we head out of here could we go back to my place so I can grab some important documents. Kim had looked at me and said no we are leaving here right now and If I wanted to get back to my place, she could drop me off and she’d be on her way out of here without me. If I wanted to get out of here, I would need to stay with them because she is not going back to my place. I was later on very thankful she had done so. We are now on our way down Skyway.

As we are all trying to leave town we are stop and go on Pearson and could hear all kinds ruckus and loud booms. Everyone is honking and trying to leave out to Skyway. The Sheriff was guiding the traffic at the intersection of Skyway and Pearson. Finally, we got out to Skyway and the southbound lane of Skyway was going very slowly maybe like a foot in 5 second or longer. We get about halfway down and I looked around and saw they opened the northbound lanes for everyone to go southbound down. I kept checking my cellphone to see about any notifications or any emergency warnings. Just plain nothing, also I kept checking the CalFire App, which kept saying the same thing. As I have found out months later the Fire was right about at our tail when we were trying to get down Skyway at that time. It’s still very dark and it looked like it was snowing but it was all ash falling down. I was getting very worried about my daughter who I was not sure of what was going on with her. I called her grandfather who was taking care of her when her mother was working. He had reassured me that my daughter is safe and is with her mother. So, 4 or 5 hours later we get into Chico and stopped at the very first gas station. Kim and I were needing some coffee and something to eat and we were all inside the gas station shop. I told her that I was very unsure about what is going to happen and that we need to stick together because I felt like I was about to lose my own self sanity. There was so much going through my head. I had a very hard time to keep myself together. I wanted to just feel numb and drink, to just forget about everything. I am a recovery alcoholic, and thanks to my girlfriend and now fiancé she was able to help me through of not getting myself lost and able to stay sober.

We were standing in the parking lot wondering what the next move is. Should we stay here and wait it out or should we figure out where we should spend the night? The anxiety of the unknowing was getting intense and people kept coming and leaving trying to figure out the same thing and all being very frantic. Lots of sirens everywhere with the air being smoky and still dark but a little sun coming through. Just was a very strange feeling because it just had been dark as night, so everything was thrown off. It was about 12:30 pm and trying to gather my thoughts and just trying to take this so unreal reality into actuality, this is actually happening! Kim and I looked at everything and looking at each other with this empty feeling of a major disaster accruing that we and thousand of people would never have spend one second to ever think that the whole town plus most of the region would ever burn down so quick. I can remember the thoughts I had to trying to reason this horrible situation. Looking all around this apocalyptic scene and all the commotion going on. Helicopters, airplanes, official government vehicles and this all for the worse fear of all fears settling in, all at the same time. I was hopeful for the fire crew and knowing they are doing the best they can, hearing that there are fire crews coming here from all over the state and other states as well. This fire just was too big and too fast in order to gain control over it. What kind of nightmare it has become? No one knew and no one thought everything that everyone had (except for those who were fortunate enough they didn’t loose their place) would be gone forever. I didn’t care about items I had or cloths, all the material things would be replaced eventually but there were things that I and many people have lost that simply can not and will not ever be replaced. Family pictures and the very sentimental things that could never be priced or even redone in any way.

Kim, her son Nathan and I just went to a park in Chico and tried to just let our hope help us getting through this. Nathan was seemingly doing ok; Kim and I were just trying to stay calm and she contacted her oldest son Chris. He was at this time at Butte collage and also getting evacuated. He had been trying to leave and his normal way on highway 99 was also blocked and had to drive all the way around through Oroville and Gridley to just get into Chico to his apartment at California Park in Chico. We were going to stay with him until we knew more of what we should do. We were waiting for him to get to his apartment, but he had been struggling to get through this very slow-moving traffic. I think he ended up also getting a flat tire on this car. It took him about 5 or 6 hours to just get back and he told us we could go his girlfriend apartment who was pretty much across from his apartment. So, we all went there and just hung out with his girlfriend as she was in progress of setting up an air mattress we could sleep on. It was about 7 pm or so. It was all dark by the night now. He finally gets back and we eventually went to his apartment and were there for like maybe an hour till we somehow got aware of that they are placing an evacuation order at California Park. Kim and I thought was this ever going to end? So, all of us are getting back in our cars and trying to figure out where to go next?!? Everyone around us is trying to flee and running around and more commotion over and over again. Stress building up and more of unknowing.

Luckily, Kim’s friend Annie was able to help us to stay at her apartment. It was in downtown Chico. Kim’s car needed gas and drove to her place hoping to stop by a gas-station. All the once we drove to were either so full and pack by other cars and trucks there was no way to get in or the gas-station was shutdown because they ran out of gas. It was driving us mad and stressing us out so badly, Chris as well (although he was managing all this a lot better than me and Kim) but he was also in need of getting gas for his car and was having the same problem. Finally, we get to some gas-station and one of the attended was guiding everyone at the few pumps they had available. That was amazing and were able to get our gas tank filled and drove to Annie’s apartment. Chris was able to get gas for himself as well and showed up, there at Annie’s as well a little later. It was late and we all were just exhausted and just done with that Thursday. Chris and Nathan were able to sleep on the couch and for me and Kim we got to sleep on a twin bunk bed of Annie’s daughter. It was good enough for us but me and Kim could not get to sleep very well. Eventually Kim fell asleep, but I was not able too even with taking some sleeping aids. My mind was not letting me, and I had just been just lying next to Kim. Everything from that day going through my mind and still trying to rationalize, reasoning and taking it into acceptance yet fearing all the loss and my life. Just as I was trying to rebuild my life again from having almost lost everything… I still had it at least set up to where I could rebuild my life again but would make it a better start. I just had it all set up for just having that moment of clarity and making better choices to make it a better future and to be a good father and to be a good husband. All just wiped out and now back at square one!!!

Marius

March 1, 2020

The morning I’ll never forget

A little after 7 am the morning of Nov. 8th, I turn on my Computer go to Facebook see a message from Butte County WX. Says there’s a fire down on Camp Creek Road. I live 3.5 miles above Pulga and Camp Creek Road so I start getting dressed to go look at it. My place is in a hole behind a mountain so I have to go a couple of miles to see anything. Just as I start out the door my phone rings it’s my buddy JT from Paradise he’d just seen it on the news so he’s calling to warn me. I tell him I’m just leaving to look at it and I’ll call him back. Get down the road expecting to see a little smoke but instead, I see this a raging inferno. I’m kinda stunned by what I see, I stop and take this picture. Then Drive down a little to where I can see down Flea Creek Canyon directly above Pulga. Then what I see is even worse, a giant blow torch heading down into Concow. I take a couple of pictures then think everyone in Concow is going to be incinerated. I live in a remote area and there’s no cell service I have Hughesnet internet and phone so I race back home to call friends in Concow. First person I call Peggy Moak answers and she’s already frantic I realize I’m too late, try calling some others but no one else answers. I post on the Concow Yankee Hill Community page on Facebook Evacuate Now. 

At that point, I don’t know what to do it looked like the fire was blowing by me so I go back down to see. The fires is slowing creeping my way also. It’s up on Flea Mountain now, it’s not like what was coming into Concow more like a normal fire coming my way. I’m hoping that the roads will hold it. 

By now it’s about 8:45 I go back home and call my friend JT back in Paradise. He answers and says “Guess where I am” I just say Where “I’m in a field holding on to my wife’s horses watching my house burn down” I say “Bullshit no fire can go that fast” I was wrong. 

For the next two weeks I had fire slowly creeping around me. The next day Cal Fire showed up and set up a fire base 1-1/2 down the road from me. I live on upper Concow Road and the fire was burning up the side of the road. So far the fire stayed on the far side of the road from me but it was getting close. It got with in 500 feet of the corner of my property then the wind blew it back and it continued down the side of the P-line towards the West Branch. But about a mile down the road it jumped the road and got on the mountain behind me that is covered with Tan Oak. It started raging Cal Fire came and woke me at 2 am to warn me. The sky behind me was glowing red Cal Fire said they didn’t have anyone to put on it and I should think about leaving. So I gathered up my 3 Kitties and was going to take them down to Concow and come back with my friend’s big truck and get some of my stuff. I get to Concow and Rim road at 4 am there’s a Sheriff there and he won’t let me into Concow tells me it’s a danger zone I tell him there’s no danger there they fires behind my place and I want to get my pets to safety and come back with a truck. He won’t let me down so I just get back and I’m going to drive down anyway. He stands in front of me with his hand on his gun. So I give up and go back to the Cal Firebase and tell them. The Dozer boss says after the morning briefing he can get an operator and a Dozer and he will come and help me. The Dozer comes and cuts fire line around my place then a big break up above where the fire would come. We spent most of the morning doing this and he tells me as soon as they get more equipment free they will be back. 

That night I had 8 Dozers come through my place cut open an old road going out the back. They got up to the fire cut line around it even had hose line and rainbirds going. This all took awhile it was 6 days into the fire now. Then I found out the fire was also burning up the Feather River Canyon and now was raging to the east of me. They were able to put in more fire line and contain that but by now I had fires on 3 sides of me. I was hoping for rain then on the 22nd it poured and put the fire out. 

Now my next problem was food and gas I was going to go shopping and get gas on the day of the fire so I was low on supplies and if I left they wouldn’t let me back in again. I got bag lunches from the fire crews and had two friends bring me stuff. One worked for the Forest service and got assigned to the fire he brought me 200 dollars worth of groceries then another friend came in through Butte Meadows over to Philbrook then down to me with 35 gallons of gas. I don’t think anyone had fire around them for 2 weeks like me but was lucky enough to make it unscathed.

Howard

March 1, 2020

I WANT TO GO HOME

I left Chico 6 months ago. We couldn’t take living like we were. I am so lost now. I feel totally disconnected from my community (Paradise) I  grew up in. I just have been a fog since the incident. Can’t even type the word f*re. I feel like I am so late to the mental recovery process. So lost. So alone.

I didn’t think it was going to be this difficult  

• hiring a lawyer because my 

   insurance company  

• making that damn list for PG&E 

   law suit  

• on and on and on and on

As you all know.

I miss you all, I miss the beauty, I miss running down the roads

I miss feeling safe

I miss my dog

Lost.

Anonymous

March 1, 2020

Campfire 2018

I got up in the morning of Nov. 8 2018, visiting with my friend in Magalia CA. It was gloomy outside an the sky was red. I realized. There was a fire some where. Later on about 10:00am noticed it was getting closer I started to get worried so I started packing a few things. I had my dog with me wasn’t really sure what to do. I just knew I had to get out everyone around me started panicking I only had dirt bike not knowing how I was going to get my dog out if there were to be a evacuation. All I kept hearing was the fire was getting closer. 

Around 5pm that day sheriff came in and said mandatory evacuation not knowing what to do or if my family in my residence at 3943 Hoffman Concow we’re safe or not I could not take my dog on my dirt bike so I had to let her go with a lady that had a truck she could go in. An I took my dirt bike headed out instead away from fire. I went towards fire going through Paradise. I was scared an could not believe what I was up against. everything was on fire, there was no way I was going to make it out I had to park my dirt bike at the Kmart parking lot an take the safe bus to Nazrine church in Oroville CA I then ran in to my family, mom, sister, brother. Finding out that we lost everything at home among all the 5 dogs my mom had since puppy’s, along with my trailer an all of my belonging were gone. Still
worried about my dog in Magalia California with this lady with a truck.

Two weeks later I went back in to Magalia California went to the residence I was visiting. My dog was left behind, chained to a tree alive with little food an water taken care of by nearby residents that stayed behind to fight for their home against the camp fire 2018.

Jessica

January 25, 2021

Fleeing Paradise

Paradise has been home to parts of my family for as long as I can
remember. I only lived there for 3+ years when the Camp fire struck.

I grew up coming to Paradise to visit Grandparents, Aunt’s/Uncles and cousins. Coming to visit was one of my favorite things to do but I had considered myself a city girl and resisted moving to Paradise for a long time.

I thought small town life wasn’t for me. I thought it was too slow, too
boring, nothing to do or see but I was so wrong.

When I finally did move to Paradise it took me a bit to relax.

Everything was so...different. As in...I can hear wildlife at night instead of loud music or fireworks, people don’t just wave to you...they actually want to know how you are doing and have a conversation, there is no rushing...they take their time to do things like browse and make eye contact which leads to conversation! This wasn’t just a town or even just a small town...this was a community. They came together to celebrate, mourn, play and work. They welcome you in with no questions asked.

That Nov. 8 morning was a shock to all of us. Fire evacuations have happened in the past but somehow we all knew this was different. What would normally have been a bright sunny morning was black with smoke and debris.

Turning on the news and seeing a story of a fire 9 miles away and suddenly the phone rings with a reverse 911 telling us to leave. Grab the animals and jump in the car with the clothes on our backs.

The only light we had were the headlights of other vehicles and the coming inferno of flames. Sitting in a traffic jam of your neighbors as we wait in vehicle traffic trying to escape and leave our town. It took 3 hrs, sitting in dark nightmare to go 3 miles to 1 of 2 escape routes. Driving past the airport with fire coming up on the side of Clark rd. vehicle getting hot, breathing warm thick air.

Suddenly blinded by daylight as we leave the black cloud of doom
behind us.

We lost everything that day. All my relatives lost everything.

Our once beautifully wooded community was reduced to ashes 

in 1 day.

Janette

January 25, 2021

Two Years since the Camp Fire destroyed the Town of Paradise California

Two years ago, the November 2018 tragedy known as the Camp Fire, which virtually destroyed all of the city of Paradise, was responsible for the death of 85 residents. It destroyed almost 19,000 structures, including 14,000 homes. The fire was the costliest natural disaster in the world that year, with damages estimated to be upwards of $16 billion.

However, while environmental conditions, such as strong winds and low humidity, factored into the severity of the disaster, the event was largely due to negligence by Pacific Gas & Electric (PG&E), the utility company which provides electricity to northern California.

H. Jowsey

January 25, 2021

To See Article, click link below:

https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2020/12/03/camp-d03.html

I am one of the fortunate ones

I am one of the fortunate ones. I had renter’s insurance, my home did not burn, and I got to return to it after 15 months in Chico. I am sure my recovery from the trauma and grief has been helped by being able to
go HOME.

All that being said, I am not the same happy person I was before the fire. I had mild depression & anxiety from time to time, but enjoyed life most days.

In addition to losing my town & community, my best friend had to move to Illinois to find affordable housing where she at least knew a few people.

I am an AA member and lost my twice weekly support group meetings because both our Paradise meeting halls burned and most members moved away.

My depression & anxiety are twice as bad as they were, and I don’t expect I’ll ever be the same again.

My rent has increased $175 month and my current job making enough to pay this rent may end this year and I find myself facing the possibility of losing this place permanently this time.

Thanks for giving me an opportunity to share my story.

June W.

November 5, 2021

My story wasn't all that exciting and scary as a lot of the stories. The aftermath was far worse for me. I woke at 7 am as I usually do and I looked out my window seeing what looked like a weird, dark cloud to the east. I think nothing of it and resume my morning routine. 7:15 am my mom texts and asks if the fire is near me so I look on Cal Fire website and they had posted a small fire in Pulga about 8 miles away. So text my mom about it and then go to tell my roommate about it which first required me to let his dogs out except when I did the sky was pouring ash and small cinders on us. I went back in and told my roommate that there was a fire nearby and that ash was just dumping on us. He goes out to look at it and gets a phone call from his son who was frantically saying "there are explosions in the canyon, GTFO of Paradise" over and over. I went back to my cell phone at 7:45 am and noticed that my mom had texted at 7:30 am that they are evacuating all of Paradise. I told my roommate about it and he seemed unsure what to do. I thought I might have enough time for a quick load of clothes but his son started saying it was at the hospital. I looked him right in the eyes and said "we need to leave" with a look like I will leave without you if you won't leave. I even counted down 5 seconds and when I got to 2 he decided to evacuate. I grabbed my phone, laptop, backpack and a $30 gift card I had. We jumped in his jeep, piling in his 4 dogs and he stopped at the neighbor's house next door and told them the fire was at the hospital and backed into a junked truck(we didn't know it at the time) and from there I went numb. We turned on Nunnely all the way to Pearson because Clark was jam packed with cars and we were hoping for better luck from Skyway. I texted my Sabbath school group and told them to evacuate because this is the big one and that Paradise would be destroyed. The traffic was moving at a slow pace but not too slow. I saw the fire was on the ridge where the resort is and that the mountainside over there was burning but we made it out to Chico Municipal Airport by 8:55 am. This is just the beginning.... We landed in Orland that night at my roommates sons friend's house where we stayed in a toyhauler. The next day I had to check and see what was going on and there were so many close call horror stories that would melt your heart. How close to death so many of us were. I saw the videos that came out, saw all the news stories, everything that was coming out at that time. First 4 nights were terrible, just had the clothes on my back to sleep in and the toyhauler couch to sleep on which was basically a this padded hard wood board. 4 days later Nancy Hamilton brought me a sleeping bag, camping blanket and pillow which was a godsend because soon after the nights became below freezing. That Sunday I was using what little change I had to get a breakfast at I-5 Cafe and a stranger paid for my meal. I went to a local church and they helped me with clothes and a bike. I went to my mothers for Thanksgiving and my brother helped me with an air mattress. After I ended up in De Sabla with who I thought were Christians who turned out to be major scammers and kept threatening to turn the power off if they didn't get money from people. It was snowing and there wasn't really any wood so that'd be really bad. They used and abused people within that place. I was stuck there until April when I moved to El Mirage, Arizona. I now live in Surprise, Arizona and have a nice apartment. I have been doing a lot of healing this passed year through EFT and talk therapy with my awesome trauma counselor who is helping me through all the trauma in my life. If you are still struggling there is hope of healing.

Fred 

Aug. 30, 2022

I thrived in Magalia. 

I took a lifetime of savings, years of traveling up on the weekends (8 hr round trip drive), and tons family and friend elbow grease to fix a little house. I was living my dream of being nestled in the forest, watching deer in my front yard as I worked as a remote employee (wayyyy before it was popular for covid). The morning was relatively peaceful, did regular morning stuff, made my coffee, fed the animals, and got to work. My son who lived in upper Paradise called around 8:30 to report that what he thought was rain on his roof was in reality ash and airborne debris. I stepped out my back door in South Pines Zone in Magalia and witnessed the face of a huge white cloud with bright orangish-yellow glowing edges swallow the blueness of the sky. My son relayed that he could hear his neighbor calling out mandatory evacuation. He calmly gathered his cat, go bag, his leftovers from last nights dinner, locked up, and evacuated. His journey was at a “less than a snails pace”, we would check in via cell phone for the first hour as he tried to get out onto the road and get down from Zone 2 (upper paradise). When he reached the final stretch, it was as harrowing as the tv footage showed with flames on both sides, darkness, unbearable heat, and embers blowing across the road and around the car. My autistic son arrived in Chico before noon. Within 20 minutes I had checked the internet for an evacuation order, gathered my diabetic cat and insulin, cockatiels, and go bags, alerted my neighbor, brought up my trash cans, told the deer to get up and go, and headed down. Only, I couldn’t go down, I couldn’t go up, sideways, nothing. The traffic was just sitting there for more than an hour. Nothing was moving. From South Pines zone we were all expected to go up to Butte Meadows, so just the same as my son we had all the people from the foremost spaces of the evacuation route leaving in front of us. I was blocked by law enforcement going down and directed by them to go up Coutolenc. I went up past the lake and across doe mill (not in a 4-wheel drive vehicle) to 32. For hours I had no cell service, the parental fear was intense, I just prayed that my son and I would arrive at our meeting place safely. There were tears all around when the cell service connected over on 32 and we were able to communicate that everyone was safe. Cars flowed at a steady pace down 32, headlights looked like a long snake behind me as I drove under the darkness of smoke, it took me another 6 hours to meet up with family in Chico. In the first few weeks after the fire we received help from so many people. My sister raised funds for solar power cell phone chargers for the displaced. I was so grateful that we had places to stay when so many others didn’t. The emotions swirled while we waited for week after week to see if anything was left. Those waiting emotions were tame in comparison to the trauma of seeing the complete and utter destruction up close, the total incineration of everything! Nothing was left, nothing was even recognizable as what it might have been, the previous houses and contents were like a fiberglass sand. I still feel lost and displaced, just floating along from one day to the next. I am continually shocked that I no longer have any pictures of the relatives/kids/family/trips/friends or possessions handed down through generations. Over the last few years my family has gone up for whatever commemorative activities occurred on the ridge. While in the area we stop by our respective properties and wonder how long it will take for complete debris removal, stump grinding, soil erosion control, and utility permits and restoration so that we can begin to rebuild. Still at stage one after 4 plus years. I am grateful as always that I have a loving family, people who continue to touch my life in unexpected ways, and my faith in Gods promises. My son and I still marvel that we grabbed leftovers and brought up the trash cans before we left. We miss our lives as they were. We miss the small things; laughter without guilt, joy in surprises, and the comforts and atmosphere of the places we called home. Thanks for letting me share.

Stacia

March 10, 2023

I was part of the clean-up recovery crew that took part in removing debris from the town of Paradise, and Concow in 2019. I contracted an auto-immune disease called Sarcoidosis while working this project. It is similar to the illnesses that the 9/11 responders and workers contracted after the attacks. I am looking for individuals who are living with the same affects, and are willing to share your story.

( You may email Richie at masin5835@hotmail.com )

Richie Vargas

May 9, 2023